UNDERSTANDING ADDICTION, RECOVERY, & WELLNESS (Part 5):  PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT

For a family where drug and alcohol problems are prominent, unhealthy addictive behavior can often be seen as normal because of the persistent use of defense mechanisms i.e. denial, projection, rationalization.

Addiction and Personality Development

The addiction process generally starts early in adolescents and becomes more intense with time and use. This process has a profound effect on personality as the addition requires that the chemically dependent person defends his addiction to himself and others. For example, the youth who grades are deteriorating blames the outcome on everything but the fact that he is drinking/drugging more and neglecting his/her studies. The addict protects the relationship with his/her addiction at tremendous cost. Family, friends, and the public often believe that the addict is lying to them. In fact, the addict is more often creating a framework of beliefs for them self to continue justification of his/her addiction.

Defense Mechanism

“A defense mechanism is a way for the mind to protect us from being consciously aware of thoughts or feelings that are too difficult to tolerate.” For the addicted, the defense mechanism is used to keep the sick relationship with the chemicals and behaviors going undisturbed. This in spite of evidence that the addictive behavior is causing serious problems. There are several defense mechanisms that psychologist have identified over the years. I will use three that in my practice working with addicts were most noticeable i.e. denial, projection, and rationalization.

Denial

Denial in relation to addiction is that the addicted person maintains that they do not have this problem even though there is much evidence that they do.  For example, a person convicted of drunk driving multiple times but still maintains he/she does not have a drinking problem.  A spouse who goes through a divorce because his/her spouse can’t tolerate his drug use still maintains that he/she has no such problem.  A person embezzles money from their employer to gamble and even is convicted but still maintains that there is no gambling issues.  These are extreme examples but very common ones that I have seen in my clinical practice.

In early stages of the disease, the addict is more likely to deny more minor things like that his/her lower marks in school are more to do that he/she does not like the teacher. If his/her coach is upset with missing practice, he/she no longer likes the sport.  The addiction problem is always denied. The relationship must be protected. As the disease progresses, the denial becomes more and more bizarre.

Projection

The defense mechanism projection works this way with the addict. When a young person starts down with the disease what usually happens is that friends that do not use are discarded. By the time, the person is a young adult just about all friends and associates are users. To project that everybody is doing this behavior is easy because that is the reality for the addicted. Everybody is doing drugs/alcohol in his/her circle of friends.  Remember that addiction is more often than not found in families. The addicted person is often brought up in a family where this addictive behavior is seen as normal and tolerated. This can complicate the problem, especially in recovery.

Rationalization

The smarter the addict is the more he/she will be able to justify his/her addictive behavior.  It goes like this, “If you only knew what I have gone through you would understand why I need to use drugs and alcohol.”  Family and friends often buy into this.  For example, a man comes home from the military and as a result is suffering from PTSD and is drinking and drugging a lot.

Drugs and alcohol do not help his problem but actually make it worse.  Still, the fact of his real problems used to justify making things getting worse with drugs and alcohol.  It can be small things early in the disease like difficulties with school or arguments with parents that are the result of addiction.  The defense mechanism is less frequent and progresses with the disease.  These defense mechanisms then in time become a very important part of the personality of the addicted.

Understanding

People are at a loss when dealing with an addicted person. It helps to understand that the addicted individual is protecting their relationship with alcohol/drugs or related addicted behavior often unconscious like a reflex action. It is best to wait till the time is right to approach the subject of addiction. There will be such a time when the addicted will bring this up usually when things are going poorly for that person. It should be brought out that the addicted person can sometimes be lucid about most matters. It is only when the pathological relationship to the addiction is threatened that the irrational comments are brought out. This makes for most people who know the person to maintain that the addicted person is just fine. In fact, the addicted person is often in emotional turmoil.

Next

I have not got into the next stage that the addict evolves to in the addiction process. In “The Essential of Chemical Dependency” Drs. McAuliffe calls it the “Relief Stage.”  Next post will explain the second stage of chemical dependency and addiction.  The primary motive changes from mostly using for pleasure to mostly using for relief.

QUESTIONS

Do you have a specific question related to addiction and recovery?  Please send your comments and questions to eaglekenj@gmail.com and I will cover it in a future blog post.  Also, stay tuned for details regarding my online program, “Addiction, Recovery, Wellness”.

Kenneth J. Orlich, LMSW, LMFT, CAADC, ACSW is a clinical social worker, family and marriage therapist, and addiction specialist with over 35 years of experience working as a clinician with the addicted.

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